Our louse-y experience

Yesterday I got the call from J.

The dreaded call.

"Lavagirl has lice."

Really? My sweet little Lavagirl? Well, okay, she had a note sent home 2 weeks ago from school about a kid in her class who has lice, but it's not like she shares hats with everybody.

BUT, she does share hats, brushes, pillows & Disney princess costumes with Thing 1 & Thing 2 so I immediately knew that they probably had it, too. And if the twins had it then naturally so does the Boy. And not to mention Mom Jeans & her twins who were visiting over the weekend PLUS the Boy's best friend who practically lives with us on the weekends.

I know what you are thinking.

FUCK.

Yes, those were my exact words. And then I maybe wanted to cry a little bit as my own head started to itch profusely.

Scratch. Scratch.

I had to call my ex & tell him that the girls probably had lice. He got pissed. Well, fuck it. The girls could have gotten lice anywhere. It's a fact of elementary school life. Then I had to call MJ. She wasn't really pissed which surprised me. Insert paranoid face here. She did have her girls checked at daycare & they were fine. Whew.

So, I call the pediatrician for treatment advice on my four kids. The list was extensive. I do what every good mom, step mom & girlfriend would do. I typed out the instructions & emailed them to J's ex-wife. This way when her babies come home tonight she will know to wash their bedding every night with hot water until our subsequent treatment next Monday. The end result is that once this is all done I'm taking her out for a drink & J gets kid duty. Snicker.

After the dinner dishes were done we had all the children at the dining room table for shampooing & nit picking. Blech. I may have gagged a little. After round one of shampooing & rinsing we went on to round two. Then after everyone was rinsed, shampooed, bathed, blow dried, changed, beds made & had a round of good night kisses I was absolutely, fucking positively exhausted.

It was only 9pm.

And then J & I did what every hot, sexy couple should experience together.

We combed lice shampoo through each other's hair.