Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The return of sun blankie

Thing 1 has had this blanket since she was born. And when we moved to J's house we redecorated her room & the blanket got put away. Obviously too far away...

Kids just don't get over shit. That's for sure.

A few weeks ago she started asking for her sun blankie. And J kept telling ME that I had thrown it out during our lice-capades. I really didn't buy that. So, I had to tell Thing 1 truthfully that it was lost & I would take her special blanket shopping when we returned from Charleston.

Well, as I was putting our suitcases back in Thing 1 & Thing 2's closet for storage guess what I saw that had obviously been hidden by suitcases for a few months?

Sun blankie.

And, when Thing 1 came home last night I asked her to go upstairs & look on her bed. You would have think this child won the lottery. She grabbed her blankie, threw herself down on the floor & rolled around in all of the sun blankie glory. Next she proceeded to lay it out on her bedroom floor for her barbies to have a picnic on her sun blankie.

I no longer feel guilty about taking a vacation because had I not gone I would have never found dear sun blankie & right now I have the happiest kid alive!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Poker face

It's kinda like that Lady Gaga song, but not quite. So, all of of my chips are, in fact, on the table, but I am definitely wearing my game face.

Do you know what this means?

Probably not.

But, I do.

I can bluff my way through anything.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Charleston, SC

Yes, that is the place of my latest adventures. I am sitting here in a beach house on a twin bed while J sits across from me on his twin bed... complete with yellow striped comforters & matching bed skirts. We are staying in our "living in sin" room. Not married = can't share a bed. Snort.

So, the start of our vacation was a bit turbulent. And it has nothing to do with the plane. We were late picking up the Grandparents & the Grandfather spent the first half hour laying in to J. This is not the "typical" Grandpa. He is the grumpy, aggravated at the world, annoyed millionaire type. He's the first of that kind that I've ever known. He's always right, smarter than Einstein & a very successful man just trying to keep the members of his family from slipping in to dysfunction. I'm in awe of him & I won't lie... I am a little intimidated by him. So, we pick him & J's sweet, adorable Grandmother up after hauling all 4 kids to school. And we head out to the airport to fly in a private jet to Charleston, SC. Private. No security check. No other passengers. First class service. I told J I wasn't entirely impressed, but it was a once in a lifetime kind of experience. Have YOU ever flown in a private jet? Probably not. Unless you're famous or just damn lucky like me.

When we arrive we have lunch with some of J's local family members. We explore downtown a bit & head out to our beach house, the one I didn't want to stay in, but sure am glad we did. It's gorgeous. The only complaint is that the pool is not heated & it's a little too chilly to swim! It's a rough life, I tell ya.

You must try shrimp & grits. Just sayin'.

J's Grandparents invite us to lunch at the "big house." So, today we wake up at 10:15 (damn, it's nice to not have the kids!) & get ready to go to Kiawah Island. It's a private island that you can only get on if you live there or are visiting. George Clooney lives here... somewhere. Naturally after yesterday's disaster regarding time preferences you'd think we would arrive early. Nope. Almost an hour late. (we were lost!) Luckily, no ass chewing took place & we enjoyed lunch complete with pretentious conversations about $700,000 single pieces of artwork & an invitation to join them for church on Sunday. Random? The house was extremely impressive. It resembled an Italian museum & backed up to the ocean with an incredible view. I simply could not imagine bringing the children there & that made me a little sad, but I got over it! When we left I joked that perhaps J's Grandparents would leave him one of those ridiculously expensive pieces of art & we could sell it to buy a larger house for ourselves. I am evil. I may go to hell. Snort.

Tomorrow we are having lunch with them again & getting a view of their new condo downtown. Oh the joy! And then rehearsal dinner & a night of going out!

But, honestly, J's family is great even though they remind me NOTHING of my own. I am enjoying spending time with everyone & especially just being here with J.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Let the drama begin.

So, I have clinical anxiety. No surprise there, right? I was treated for it in 06 & although I do not take medication any longer for it, I still panic from time to time. I have a couple of "trigger" factors. I'm not really a nut job, I don't think. But, sometimes I have my moments.

I freaked out today, okay? It's a lot of pressure to leave town for 5 days. Everything in my life gets put on hold... my kids, my clients, my friends, my life. And yes, I know I keep bragging about leaving town for 5 days, but really, 5 days is too long. And, so today J announces we are staying with his Dad & family instead of our hotel to save money. I went ass up on that one. It isn't that I don't love his family, but 5 days with his Dad, Stepmother & the two youngest siblings? There goes any romantic get away visions I had - if any. I have horrible travel anxiety when traveling out of my element. This does not include TRIPS TO TEXAS. Those are easy, but still I get anxious when traveling there. How could J not know this about me? How could he not understand this about me? Why does the drama have to start?

He's mad at me. My final email to him was that we would stay where he wanted & I'd be fine. And I will. However, the email after that where he tells me to sign Thing 1 & Thing 2 up for ballet wherever his ex-wife registered Lavagirl just did it. First of all, I am going to have to consult the ex-husband. Because, he pays for 1/2 & is responsible for 1/2 the shuttling around. His ex did NOT consult him only told him what she had done. I guess they have a different type of relationship. Second, it's 15 more dollars for the same amount of time as the ballet school I really want the girls to attend & have been researching for quite some time. Does it make it easier to put them all 3 in one school? Yes, of course. But, at least ASK ME instead of just assuming that I want to do whatever your ex-wife does.

And the 2nd part of this blog is assy because I'm still upset about the 1st part. I know this & can completely claim my irrational behaviors. I wish some people could do the same.

Tuesday Random Thoughts

1. I'm joining twitter.

2. My boss gave me permission to get my brows waxed on my "lunch break". (I never take a lunch break, snort)

3. There was a cute boy in my office today & all I could do is stare at his good looking SHOES. Yes, I'm weird.

4. I wish my jaw would unhinge. Seriously.

5. I'm leaving tomorrow for 5 glorious days. I will probably have more blog stories when I return.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Drool. The black shoes.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Big week!

If it isn't one thing it's another, but that's okay. On Wednesday morning J & I fly out on the private jet to Charleston, SC for 5 glorious days sans children. One of J's brothers is getting married & I bought the cutest dress! I am sorry to disappoint, but there will be no wedding drama this go-round. Snort.

My pain has finally just about subsided. I am no longer swollen. My jaw is still hinged closed on one side, but I can open the size of a quarter now. So, I'm making progress. I saw the oral surgeon again on Friday & he told me I had one of the worst recoveries he had ever seen. Gee, great, thanks.

We had a BBQ at the house last night & had a blast. I've found out in the past few months that I am really good at entertaining. I love planning parties & hosting them. My next door neighbor & I killed 2 big bottles of wine. We were very thirsty. Snort.

Because of this wedding I decided to get a quick tan at the tanning salon. I am not a big fan of tanning beds, so I just signed up for a 5 tan deal on the monster bed. The idea is to get some color before heading down South. Yesterday I went & 4 hours later broke out in hives on my ass & my thighs. I smeared some allergy lotion on myself & they promptly went away, but ewwww. I still have 2 tans left, too, but now I'm scared. However, I am looking tan!

I also had my hair done on Friday afternoon. It looks amazing! I've had a rough few months with my hair. I went to this upscale salon in December & the chick colored my hair orange. Then I had it corrected the next day at another salon, but was left with REALLY BLOND HAIR! And, it severely damaged my hair. So, I've spent the past few months with awful roots & I've gone through 100 bucks worth of conditioner to try to repair the damage. With this wedding, I had to go in & get highlights. My roots were 10 feet long & it was awful. I actually had it done at the upscale salon who fucked it up originally, but the owner did it & the best news - it was free!!!! (I paid 200 bucks there in December...)

What else? What else?

Life is good. I'm going on vacation, I have good hair again, I'm tan & hive free, I am healing & work has been busy! I'm sure tomorrow I'll break my arm or something.

Double Snort.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I really wish I had something other to write about

than my level of pain right now. This wisdom teeth removal has been far more painful than I ever realized. And had I known that this were going to be the case, I would have not done the procedure. My threshold for pain is not even that low, but this is ridiculous.

I am one week post op & I woke up this morning in excruciating pain. The muscles in my cheeks are still swollen so I can't open my jaw more than the size of a nickel. I'm not able to work full days because taking narcotics at work just doesn't seem smart. J is helping a lot with the girls & I know he probably wants a break, too.

It just doesn't seem fair to have to suffer in misery only to have your oral surgeon tell you there is nothing clinically wrong with you that he can see & that I'm just going to have to grin & bear it. Asshole. The reasons I'm in pain have ranged from "You had big teeth, so you have large wounds." to "I don't really know why you are in so much pain." to "Maybe you should get a second opinion."

All I want is a tolerable, speedy rest of my recovery & maybe a hug.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Make the pain stop.


It's almost midnight. I've tried every pain pill I can take without overdosing & I think I'm about to cut out the right side of my jaw because it will hurt less in the long run.

When taking Dilaudid does not help, you know something is wrong. Wugh. Back to the oral surgeon tomorrow morning at 8:30am.

Someone hold me. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I'm pretty sure J deserves

the awesome boyfriend of the week award - complete with BJ!

Unfortunately, that would give me serious dry sockets... the BJ part that is.

He took all 4 kids to Chuck E Cheese's today. And Thing 2 got sick & threw up everywhere. He must have paid The Boy & his friend 20 bucks to watch the girls for me upstairs so I could come downstairs so he could go to the store. And honestly, if he comes back with another brownie for me I will probably go ahead & kiss him on the lips. And, I look pretty gross.


I can't wait to be back to normal... unfortunately I don't think it'll be by tomorrow!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Day 3 & I'm officially joining a chipmunk clan.

I look awful.

And that's all I can really say.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Wisdom Teeth Experience - day 2

I'm up to saying a bit more because I have slept a lot, the vicodin is working wonderfully & I am drinking nothing but Vitamin Water to replenish & hydrate my poor self!

First of all, the pictures say NO CHANGE. Well, maybe a little MORE SWOLLEN than yesterday. Particularly the right side... the upper tooth lived up in my sinus cavity & so extracting that thing was a bitch. In fact, in all of my Valium, Novacaine, laughing gas, IV sedation state yesterday that's the one I could feel being tugged & ripped from my jaw. And it was painful!

The bleeding has just about stopped & so I don't need so much gauze in my face. Last night Thing 1 & Thing 2 stayed with their dad so I could rest, however, it turned out to be a very good thing he agreed to that since they both have strep throat! Wugh. So, we had the Boy & Lavagirl & I managed to watch Pinocchio (70th anniversary edition!) with her & help him with his homework... all from bed. J wasn't feeling great himself, but he took pretty good care of me even though I was awake far longer than he was & I woke up about 5 times last night. Sigh. That's what I get for sleeping all day.

But, aside from the ridiculous swelling I don't feel too bad. I'm not looking forward to going in public today & hopefully that won't really happen.

I do leave you with some new pictures... and yes, I'm in the same shirt. Snort.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

I'm high on vicodin & I look like a chipmunk.

But honestly, the pain isn't unbearable. I've had a c-section & there isn't much worse than that recovery!

Here I am... in all of my glory! Hot, eh?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The word of the day


And, I'm not talking about the housing market, either.

What happens when two people go above & beyond what they can to help their partner & family, yet, neither partner feels appreciated for their efforts?

Suffocation. (That's not the word of the day. Maybe tomorrow.)

Seriously, J & I do a lot for each other. Granted, we do different things to please the other & sometimes I am left wondering why he couldn't have done this instead, but at least the attempt means there were absolutely some feelings considered.

So, every day we do. We do & we do & we do. We give & we do & we eventually get drained... and then exhausted... and then upset... then pissed... then hurt...

It's a cycle.

And we have to break it because I'm tired of feeling unappreciated for what I do & I know he is, too. I think we can do this!

Monday, March 9, 2009

I tried to write this yesterday

but I was completely useless.

I don't think I've laid in bed for the entire day since 2004, when I was pregnant with the twins & on complete bed rest. I even ate laying down yesterday... just like old times!



My friends are crazy. And I'm crazy for partying as hard as I did. I don't think I'll drink for about a year. Hottie #1 - burn those pictures!


Friday, March 6, 2009

A moment of clarity - part 2.

Yesterday's clarity was more like an epiphany.

Today my moment of clarity is a bit more shallow.

I look really cute today. I mean, hot-ish even. It's the tall, black boots, y'all!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Did you ever have a profound moment of clarity?

I just did.

Now, I have to implement that moment of clarity to fit my life. But, clarity is HALF the battle.

Thursday's Random WHINEY Thoughts

1. This lack of sex is killing me. I may have to take up an extreme sport in its place.

2. I pretty much don't like anyone right now... except my kids.

3. My mouth is killing me to the point of tears & I canceled my extraction due to lack of funds. Sigh. I don't know what I'm going to do.

4. In case you haven't noticed... I am pretty miserable.

5. I'm hoping that I'll feel better after the weekend, but I doubt it.

6. I am so glad I'm getting out of the house tonight & hanging with my girlfriends!

7. See, I do have something to look forward to. See #6.

8. I am at a stand still in life & I know something has to drastically change for me to move forward. I just don't know what. Sounds like the hanged man to me.

9. TGI almost F.

10. Please pass the advil.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

No, things aren't always good.

It's funny how people THINK my life is just perfect. Anyone who knew me better would know better.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Thank you, hottie #1

for the makeup for the twins' birthday.

We played "dress up" yesterday. They look good, don't they? Snort.

We're having a snow day

and I really want to be somewhere else.

The kids are going stir crazy. They want to play outside for like 5 minutes at a time (and really, it is cold. I don't blame them!). J wants just "10 more minutes of quiet time". He's said like 4 words to me all day & half of those haven't been very pleasant. I'm in a bad mood & need like 10 orgasms or 1,000 dollars to shake these late winter blues.

Please, pass me some cheese with my whine.

Thank you.