Mom got drunk & Dad got drunk

at our Christmas party.



Really, this song is awesome, but this blog is about me.

Things not to do when you're drinky at a family function.

1. The electric slide. Just don't.

2. Walk around telling everyone that you're just the girlfriend. It's okay to just be the girlfriend, sometimes.

3. Sit down next to Mom & try to hold any type of serious conversation involving her son's health or your feelings for him. And for whatever reason NEVER try to mediate the mother/son relationship even when Mom is drunk herself & seeking your advice.

4. Hold the baby. (I really didn't do this - I knew better!)

5. Arm wrestle.

6. Arm wrestle & then proceed to lose TWICE. Dammit.

7. Float the keg of Heineken before someone else does.

8. Walk in on the brother's new wife in the bathroom washing her hands & exclaim that you are that kind of friend now & pee in front of her.

9. Ask your boyfriend if he loves you & how much constantly. (wugh, that annoys me thinking about it)

10. NOT remember more than 1/2 of this list & rely on others to fill in the gaps. For some reason I keep thinking embellishment.