Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Baaaaaaa baaaaaaa baaaaaa I'm a sheep!

Last night we went out to dinner for J's brother's birthday. It was me, J, brother, his wife & our next door neighbors. We went to eat at Texas de Brazil which is a South American steakhouse type place. (think all you can eat meat) For 44 dollars a person you can eat until you puke.

It's actually quite good.

And, J & I were drinking wine. What's a birthday celebration without a bottle of wine & some creme brulee? Comment cards. They complete any fabulous birthday dinner. Snort.

Our server was fabulous & charged us an 18 percent gratuity. He made bank that night! Anyways, he passed out these comment cards to us to fill out at the end of the meal & since we had all been drinking we obliged. Naturally, I was feeling spontaneously quirky so I wrote:

NORM MAYNARD IS MY DAD on my comment card. And actually, he is my dad. And, he is a construction manager for this restaurant chain. And, I thought I was being funny. He doesn't even live in Northern VA. He lives in Texas.

It was all snickers & snorts until I got an email from my dad this morning. The general manager of the restaurant scanned my comment card & sent my dad an email saying he didn't know I was coming in, but wanted him to know that I was there.

My dad forwarded this to me saying next time I got there to call this GM of the restaurant & he'll take care of me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Say hello to my little friend

Almost 9 months later, I got my Coach purse. And I love it.

And as a consolation prize, I got the matching wallet, too.

Happy Obama Day to me!

Thursday, July 23, 2009


I often dream J is cheating on me. Often = at least once a week.


To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you, indicates your fears of being abandoned. You may feel a lack of attention in the relationship. Alternatively, you may feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. This notion may stem from issues of trust or self-esteem. The dream could also indicate that you are unconsciously picking up hints and cues that your significant other is not being completely truth or is not fully committed in the relationship.

From dreammoods.com

What triggers the cheating spouse dreams?

1. There might be something playing in your subconscious mind regarding your relationship with your partner, which you are consciously not ready to acknowledge.
2. Sometimes a sudden change in accessories that your partner uses like perfume, clothing, his / her interest in keeping themselves fit can also trigger a doubt.
3. A kind of insecurity or a guilt feeling regarding any aspect of your life.
4. Anxiousness about your own self, your appearance, your looks your future with your partner.
5. If you have cheated on any of your relationships.
6. If you have been dishonest with someone.
7. Fear of failure in a particular assignment or project or a test.
8. If you have been abandoned or mistreated by someone during your childhood.
9. IF your partner is spending too much time on other things like work, friends etc. and you feel lonely and jealous.
10. If you find yourself cheating on your partner in your dream, then there may be something that you have done that is making you feel guilty. This would perhaps mean that you are not giving your spouse the necessary attention.

From dreaminterpretations.us

Essentially, I have trust issues. No.fucking.shit.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It's 9:28pm. Do you know where your kids are?

Happy Birthday Toothless! He's 7, today. He is awesomely sweet & lives next door. In true celebratory fashion he wanted a sleep-over & tonight, he gets it. At my house...

Thing 1, Thing 2 & Lavagirl are beside themselves. They are all upstairs watching Shrek as I sip my glass of wine & smoke my cigarette out on the front steps. J'Michael is feeling rough so he's asleep. The Boy is next door with Ka-leeb hanging out until he gets kicked out. And, even though Lavagirl has to brave the bus at 7:30am for her summer school studies I am still not veto-ing a sleep-over. In fact, she's supposed to be at her mom's tonight, but you know what? Summer only comes once a damn year.

Call me a bad mom or call me the best, but my kids are happy. And even if I have to chaperone this one solo, I'm okay. These children have earned their night of fun... even though they drove me batshit crazy in Target earlier today.

I love.my.life dot com.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

It's the little things

Thing 1 & Thing 2 are at their dad's house for 2 days this week. Lavagirl is in summer school. The boy sleeps late.

I woke up at 9am, got dressed, grabbed an apple & headed to Pilates. When I was finished I still had an hour before I had to grab Lavagirl off the bus. I went to a shopping center where I proceeded to hit up Starbucks for my skinny vanilla latte. Then I walked over to Michael's with the kids in mind. I purchased molding clay, sidewalk chalk, jump ropes & a puzzle for Lavagirl to help with her letters.

Then it was me time. I walked to Whole Foods - the most beautiful grocery store in the world. How can a grocery store be beautiful? Let me tell you. I walk in past the fresh basil plants & inhale the heavenly aroma. Then I walk through the luscious produce past the gourmet cheeses & then on to the delicious olive bar. I stopped to pick up some Tzatziki sauce. This is the only store I know that I can purchase the sauce instead of making it & it's just as good as any Greek restaurant. I wandered through the snack section looking for a low-calorie option to go with my Tzatziki. Yes, I am that girl. Finally I pick up some Wasa bread crisps & my favorite, almond butter. I did manage to find some low-calorie mini whole wheat pita loaves for my Tzatziki! I left the store wandering through the baked good aisle eye balling the chocolate 2-bite macaroons.

I was at the bus top at 11:30 to pick up Lavagirl feeling refreshed &, well, hungry.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


Are the days getting longer!?


I will not beat the children.
I will not beat the children.
I will not beat the children.


Saturday, July 11, 2009

For once, it's not about me.

I woke up this morning to a series of frantic text messages from someone very close to me. She's pregnant. She has children. She is a single mother. She doesn't want another baby. She has no money for an abortion. She does not want to tell the man because he'll want to keep the baby.

This is emotional for me, because I've been there. This situation is the "OH SHITS" of "OH SHITS"! And perhaps my circumstances were somewhat different, but that doesn't matter. As a woman, this is one of the loneliest places you could ever be. And, I hate it for her.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

From single mom to stay at home mom

I haven't done the stay at home mom thing since my girls were 2. And, here I am spending my summer with 4 of the most insane children.

I have Thing 1. She's really sweet, cuddly & pretty laid back... until you piss her off. Watch out! She will give you her angry face & trust me, you won't like it. Most of the time she's happy go lucky & a lot of fun to snuggle.

Then there is Thing 2. She's really sweet, cuddly & not so much laid back. She's more like the little boss. Miss Priss. Prima Ballerina. Diva. You get the idea. She's very manipulative when she wants to be, but so beautiful that you can't help but fall in to her trap.

Next comes Lavagirl who is a lot like Thing 2 minus the cuddly part. She whines. A lot. I'm not sure if it's a phase or what, but it's going to be a long summer to go with her lengthy syllables. Dad becomes Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaad. You get the idea.

Thing 2 & Lavagirl butt heads often & Lavagirl & Thing 1 leave Thing 2 out on a regular basis. The power of 3. Snort.

Then is the Boy. He's harmless enough until he doesn't get his way. Then welcome to your own private pout party until he does! Please note he doesn't like to help with the girls unless he's getting paid, but I'm not really sure I blame him.

Those are my kids. Now moving on to my extras -

Toothless. He's almost 7, lives next door & has all 3 of the girls fighting for his affection. One minute he's Thing 1's boyfriend & the next he's Lavagirl's boyfriend. Thing 2 is too much of a diva to care about that, but they all love him & he loves to sleep over.

Ka-leeb. He's 14, the Boy's bestie & grounded for most of the summer for doing something very foolish at school that landed him suspension & possible expulsion. He is the older brother of Toothless. He's not a bad kid... in fact he's a very sweet kid. He's good with the girls, he takes my trash out & sometimes he does my dishes. More than once I've wished he was mine & then I'm reminded about the possible expulsion.

Now, I'm off to fold laundry & pack for our weekend trip to the lake. Bye bye now!