Death to the IUD

Seriously.

I've fucking had it. I have done nothing but bitch, moan, piss & complain since I had the Mirena IUD put in two years ago. And two years ago when they couldn't get it in the first time I should have recognized that as a "sign" & not gone back the second time for insertion. That probably would have forfeited my entire IUD saga.

I went in this morning for my annual well-woman exam. I have been having a lot of pelvic pain, swelling & just plain discomfort "down there". PLUS the two years worth of sore boobs, moodiness & the feeling that hormones are taking over my body one organ at a time! This morning the nurse practitioner went fishing for my IUD strings & could not find them. This means my IUD is probably missing. And you can put out all the bait you want, but this thing ain't coming back out on its own.


So, am I panicking? Yes. Absofuckinglutely.

I'm getting this fucker removed. Today, if possible. I would not recommend this form of birth control to even my worst enemy.

And you know what is the worst part? This all took place before 9am AND the preventative medicine I'm going to be taking cannot be taken with alcohol. What am I going to do for the next FIVE DAYS? CRY!