If you want something done right

you have to do it yourself.

Another one of life's lessons learned the hard way. I am annoyed.

So, I jumped the gun & moved to his house. Before my stuff can even fit in I have to de-clutter his house. That's going to take me a while. I'm only one girl. Little by little I clean out cabinets, drawers & entire rooms making space for his stuff & mine. It's probably one of the biggest projects I have ever tackled. And you know what? I don't really mind because EVERYONE will benefit from this.

I get that J appreciates it. But, I always feel like no matter what or how I go about it I'm the annoying, self-righteous, clean freak of a bitch that is taking over his house. I don't want to annoy him, but I have to have certain things, certain ways. We are running a household of SIX now & that's twice as big as what we were dealt. And, we are doing it & it's going great, but every once in a while I have to stop & think about what exactly is important to ME. Because I know what is important to him. I know what is important to all four children - each one with very different opinions on the subject.

What is important to Lola, you ask? I want a place to belong. I want all of my stuff in once place. I don't want some stuff in a condo, some in a storage unit & some in a foreign place I now call home. I want more than one drawer for my clothes. I want to be able to hang up pictures of my children on the wall. I want to come home & pick up the house before I relax. I want my children to have their own space, with their own things & be able to enjoy their own room. I don't want to wait 2, 3, 5 weeks for it, either. The transition to them is what matters most to me & so, I want to do all I can to ensure they feel welcome. And sometimes I need some help in that & I want someone who is ready, willing & able to do that.

There. That's my demand list. Call me stupid, call me crazy, call me ridiculous. Just don't forget that these are things important to ME & therefore they are important.