Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I called for back up & all I got was this stupid Grandwhore.

Two weeks ago, the Boy & I were sitting down at my laptop hanging out like we normally do. We were on my facebook looking at something when he asked me why I didn't list him & Lavagirl as my "children" on my facebook page. I had only listed Thing 1 & Thing 2.

So, I listed them. And, I tagged the link to his page because he has his own facebook account. No big deal. I am his soon to be stepmom & he has been calling me his stepmom for over a year. I could spend all day justifying this, but we have our own special bond & I'm not even sure if "stepmom" does it any justice.


Life goes on as normal & a few weeks go by. Then I get an email from the EX.


I have received some messages from my family members about you listed as the Boy’s parent on his facebook and stating that he is your son. Could you please remove that? Thank you for your understanding.


I was stunned. Really? I am fuming now because I didn't state he was my "son", but, yes, it does say on his page that I am his parent. I guess she should friend her son on facebook instead of telling him she doesn't want to be his friend & perhaps he would tag her, too.


The Boy asked me to do it last week. There was no option for step child. I don't see the big deal as he wanted to be listed as one of my children and he is as far as I am concerned, step or whatever.

There are some things you are just going to have to get over.

I hope you understand that this is one of them. It is facebook, not real life. We all know you are his mother.



A little bitchy? Yes. But, I'm tired of taking it in the ass by her. If you've read my blog for any amount of time you can probably find some of her thrusting behaviors.


You aren’t married so technically you aren’t even his step-mother yet but I can see you won’t respect my request so I will handle it with the Boy.


You don't have to be legally married to be an extra parent to someone.

It amazes me how you are so juvenile when there really is no reason to act this way.

I know where I stand in your children's lives and changing a facebook status will not change that, legally married or what not. And, there doesn't have to be this tension surrounding it, but you continue to create it!


Ps - he has to remove it from his page for the tag to remove.


Seriously. Do I need a license to be a practicing step mom? I have done more for those children in two years then she's probably done in 12.

So, the Boy comes home & his mom calls him. Then his dad calls him. I wasn't present for either conversation, but we were in the kitchen when he said, "I don't know what to do about this facebook situation."

I told him that his mother was upset, but that I wasn't changing my facebook. If he needs to change his, I would help him. He told me his dad told him he didn't have to change it. And then he said...

"I want to leave it the way it is."

Then, I get this email from the EX'S MOTHER, WHO I HAVE NEVER MET.

To whom it may concern:

As parents (birth, adopted, step, real, make-believe, …etc) we have an obligation to teach our children morals and values. One of these is to respect other people – their opinions and feelings.

As adults, we also sometimes need to hold back and be a better person by not attacking others if/when we don’t agree with what they say or do. This is what differentiates adults from children, who don’t know better.

Also, as ‘parents’, we sometimes have to do things that may not be what our children want or ask us to do. I am one of the people who were taken back by seeing who was listed as the Boy’s mother. If this was a request by the Boy, then it may have to be one of those situations where the adult makes the decision not to comply.

My stupid daughter’s request was simply “Could you please remove?”. Based on reactions of her family members, she has feelings and was simply asking for you to respect them.

I am hurt by the response to her to “Get over it” ; for being “so Juvenile”; and for creating tension surrounding it.

J, as a parent, I would hope that you would only let into your children’s life, someone who is going to love and care for your children as they would their own. The person should respect the fact that their mother IS AND WILL BE their mother always and forever, AND she deserves more respect than is being given.

Thanks for your consideration and respect of my feelings,

Grandwhore's name here


Dear Grandwhore,

Who the fuck cares about your feelings?

I believe I am qualified enough to be listed as the Boy's parent on facebook. Since I've known him, I am the one who has helped him with his homework at night. I am the one he asks to play Rock Band. I am the one he confides in when his girlfriend breaks up with him. I am the one who helps him plot on how to win her back. I am the one he asks to accompany him on his 6th grade field trip. I am the one who climbs 3 stories & walks across a tight rope in a harness because his friends tell him he has a cool "stepmom" while on this said field trip. (Mind you, I am afraid of heights) I am the one he climbs next to in bed & tickles. I am the one who has had him sitting on my lap at the tender age of 12. I am the one he hugs when he comes home every day & I even get extra hugs when I haven't seen him a few days. I am the one he invites to eat lunch with his 6th grade friends. I am the one who eats lunch with him at school when he invites me. I am the one who stays up with him until midnight to finish a science fair project TWICE when his own mother refuses to help. I am the one who taught him how to fold laundry & unload a dishwasher. I am the one who has been mothering him since I met him because he wanted to be mothered.

And more importantly, I am the one he asked to list him as my child on facebook.

I hope to teach my children, biological & make-believe, that respect is something that is earned, and that we just don't respect people because of one of their title's in life. I have done anything & everything for your daughter when it comes to helping her with the children.

Oh & now I see where your daughter gets her juvenile behavior. It became very clear right after I opened this email from YOU.


That last email I only wrote for you guys. Snort.


Dragonfly77 said...

Wow, I know what its like to have to deal with an ex espically when it comes to dealing with children as are a very strong woman and don't let what she has to say bother you! Children have a way of making it better in the long run and just remember in this case this child has choosen who is his mother and that is plain to see that it is you! Keep staying stong and true to yourself!!!!

Lola Starr said...

Thank you, Dragonfly! I appreciate the support. I am not THAT crazy, I swear.

LadyHawk said...

I don't know what to say but, I've seen first hand how much mothering you have done to these two children and she should be thanking you for stepping up to the job when she was too busy with her own failing relationships. Perhaps therapy will help her see just how much she has missed and you can't turn back time.

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Casey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Casey said...

I think you should've sent her the email. They need to get it and apparently the boy marking you as his parent is them NOT "getting it". I'm so sorry that they are both PITA's :(