I need a re-do of this entire week.

This week has been horrible, thus far. And today's incident takes the cake. Speaking of cake, HAPPY BIRTHDAY J! Today he is 34. Love you! (he does read this blog from time to time)

So, in order to provide J with a birthday thrill, I took a no-no picture on my phone. Come on, haven't we all done this?

BUT I sent it to the wrong person on accident. And I have no clue who Jenette is on my phone, but she received it & texted back, "I think you sent this to the wrong person". No shit, eh? I have no clue who you are. Then I spent the next half hour wracking my brain making sure it's not a PTA mother or something.

I am a fucking idiot.

That is all.

A neighborhood divided.

If a complete stranger sent you an email claiming your significant other had cheated on you would you

a) give your partner the benefit of the doubt after their explanation?

or

b) believe the complete stranger with absolutely no solid proof?

This is the drama J & I dealt with this weekend.

And, no, it isn't something that happened to me, but to our next door neighbors. Now, J & I are caught in the middle because wife is my friend & husband is his.

Believe it or not, we live in a semi-normal neighborhood. Snort.

Friday random thoughts

1. Back when my life was full of drama, my blogs were funnier. Now, they are lame.

2. My shoulder hurts from lifting weights yesterday.

3. My personal trainer is a killer. See #2.

4. A few nights ago I had to most vivid nightmare where I drove my car into the ocean accidentally & couldn't get out in time. I woke up right before I drowned. Sigh. I hate these types of dreams because I tend to obsess about their meanings.

5. The babysitter is coming tonight so J & I can have a hot date.

6. I love pastrami.

7. Thing 1 has been seriously back-talking. I'm at a loss. She says things like no, so what & I don't care frequently. Cry. I washed her mouth out with soap last night for telling J no (while he was talking to her about telling me no) & she crossed her arms & said, "That doesn't taste like anything." Sigh, again.

8. I have polka dot toes.

9. J's birthday is next Wednesday so next weekend I'm taking him to Ocean City, MD for a nice, romantic weekend ALONE. And it also happens to be winefest on the beach! Yay!

10. If you made it through this list, have a great weekend!

Three is the lonliest number.

Today's topic - threesomes.

I hate things in threes. Mo, Curly, & Larry. Jack, Chrissy (Terri) & Janet. The Jonas Brothers. God, especially the Jonas Brothers. Snort.

Threesomes are complicated. Someone always gets left out. Feelings get hurt. There is way too much effort in trying to keep things "fair" that you forget to just have some fun. And then what happens? People fight, get angry, get upset & throw Martian Matter all over each other.

And you thought this post was about sex, didn't you? Nah. Been there done that. This post is about Thing 1, Thing 2 & Lavagirl. Sigh. If you take one away the other two play blissfully. When you add the 3rd in to the mix all hell breaks loose.

Any suggestions?

I'm busier now than ever.

Today, I was so busy being a domestic Goddess that I didn't sit down for the first time until 3:30pm.

I stayed in Texas too long...

Expect the unexpected.

It's been a while since I wrote anything, but I've been busy. Last week I was at the school when I got a dreaded call. My Aunt Karen had passed away in her sleep the night before at the young age of 57. I left immediately for Texas for the next 6 days. It was not all sad times. I spent time with my cousins, sister, nephew, grandmother & enjoyed the beach & the bars. It was a trip of mixed emotions.

Then I get home to mass chaos, a messy house, my wonderful fiance, 4 amazing children & a week's worth of Kindergarten homework. The weekend has passed & all I managed to do today was recover from last night's good time with our friends, Hottie #1 & Weiner. We are crazy! Tomorrow I have 1,000 things to do before the kids get off the bus & Monday is their early day.

I need a calendar, a bulletin board, an assistant & groceries.

Sigh.

I will write soon. If I don't, please send the PTA to look for me.

I want the body of my dreams.

I really do. I'm not even fat, I know this. I have been fat, yes. I used to weigh almost 200lbs - at two points in my life. I weigh between 158-162 which given the fact that I'm very muscular is pretty good. I'm a perfect size 8. And, honestly, I grew up in 14s & 12s, so Lola is quite content with her perfect size 8.

Lola is not content with a few sections of her body. Okay, I'll quit using 3rd person. I have strong abs, but I've had twins, remember? So, my mid section sucks. (no stretch marks, just mushy) Here is where I critique my entire body to you, my internet blog audience. I hate my stomach. I hate the flab under my arms where my triceps should be... I hate the back of my thighs. And I hate back fat, which I have very little of, but hate what little I have.

I've been working out for years. In 2003 I started running. I lost 30lbs, quickly. I ran for days, mile after mile. I fucked up my knees. Thank you very much. I quit running when I was pregnant the first time. I gained 15lbs & after I lost the baby I decided not to try to lose weight because we were going to try again. Bam, twins! Then after I had the twins I was up to 194lbs shortly after delivery. I know, I know, what can you expect after a 42lbs weight gain?? I was nursing & exercise caused Mastitis. (google it if you don't know what that is) I was eating like a cow anyways. Long story short I was chubby. And, after we bought our house I joined a gym. And, for a year I was very religious. I did tone up & dropped to about 175lbs. Once the separation came I lost another 15lbs & now I'm at this weight. Which I am comfortable with, but want to work on those troubled spots.

So, since you can't have that toned body without some type of weight loss I have realistic goals. Ten lbs. And I hired a personal trainer last week. So, in four weeks I want 10lbs gone & I want to see some muscle definition. I know I am strong & I know I have some really nice definition in certain areas. But I want the body of my dreams. And, so, wish me luck. I don't have to look like Vin Diesel (and really, I hope I never do), but everyone should be happy with what they see. And if they aren't, only YOU can change it.

Another blog brought to by my stupid control issues. Snort.

Enjoy the Silence

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!

All four kids are in school. I'm so lucky our school has full day Kindergarten. So, I won't have any company until 3:30pm. I just went to the gym in peace. And now I'm having my mid-morning snack contemplating which room I'm gonna clean first.

Yep.

This is my life.

Oh & here is a picture of my darlings waiting for the bus, which I promptly followed to the school. Hearts everywhere...

Baby, things change.

I have used this song as a reference before.

Anyways, here we go again with change. My blogs are few & far between lately & it isn't because I don't have time. I do. It's because when your life is as peaceful as mine is right now, there really isn't anything dramatic enough to write about. Finally, after what feels like an eternity in an uncertain place in life, I am starting to figure out where I am, why I am here & where I am going.

I am in a secure relationship with J simply because I love him & all of his imperfections. And he loves me & all of mine. We have made such big strides in our relationship over the past few months realizing that we both want the same things & we have been experiencing them together. I have never been happier with "us" than I am right now.

The "why" factor is harder. Obviously, I am here because of love, but love isn't the super glue of relationships. It isn't enough to hold two people together, unfortunately. And, that's a lesson I've learned time & time again. So, obviously, I'm now figuring out that you have to give more than love to make a relationship work. Ding, ding, ding! Love should never be hard to give, either. It's the patience, acceptance & compromises that are hard to give. Love is easy, peasy, lemon squeezy!

As to where I am going, well it cannot be answered that simply. I still have a few missing pieces. Since I took a leave of absence from work in June I have not been working. And, in turn, I have had more time for the kids, the house & for J. I'm happy with it, but still trying to figure out if this decision is permanent. J has expressed that he would like for me to stay home, but I have always had this constant NEED to be this independent woman. It's because I always have been. However, I feel like home is where I NEED to be even more strongly than my NEED to be the independent woman. In the meantime, the world is my oyster. I can substitute teach. I can get a work from home job. I can take pottery classes. I can be a room mother in the children's classes. Fuck, I could be PTA president. (This paragraph brought to you by the word NEED!)

Out of the mouths of babes.

Thing 1 & Thing 2 are upstairs with Toothless. (boy next door)

I hear this...


Thing 2 - "When you get older you get hair on your butt."

Toothless - "My Uncle Chris has hair on his butt."

Snort.