Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Talking to your blog is so much easier than talking to your partner.

I'm tired of explaining what is wrong with me to have it blanketed by what is wrong with you. When something bothers me physically, suddenly you don't feel well. And, when I am hugely concerned about an important issue, you just shrug it off. Even if it is a legitimate concern. And, when I don't respond to you, I am just emotionally checking out. And, when I don't let you in, it is suddenly because I don't love you.

Do you realize what the issue is?

This is about ME. Not YOU. And every single time you say something like the above to me it hurts. And the more hurt I am, the more I'm going to shut down. This is not a good cycle for us to start. I can promise you that basket-case Lola isn't pretty. I've been there, done that & got the t-shirt. It says, "MOST of 2008 SUCKED!"

I know you are trying to help, but what I need from you is emotional availability. In the past, I've very rarely ever had it from a partner. And, unfortunately, I am an emotional needy person & so, I need you.

And like, now.

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