Friday Randomness

1. Hottie #1 & Weiner just cancelled on us. Apparently they can't get along long enough to go hang out with us. Boo!

2. J has no ID. That pretty much limits what we do all weekend. Grrr.

3. When in Nordstrom Rack, watch out for the Tart buying the sequin tube top! Cha-ching!

4. When in Nordstrom Rack, be cool. Be very, very cool. Everyone is staring at you. And, they are all better dressed than you are!

4. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

5. I wrote my paragraph today for my Nana's funeral & she has not passed away yet. I figure it'll take me months to revise it & it's always better to plan ahead. Is this wrong?

6. I miss my sister. Nini, I love you!

7. I have a sudden craving for Luby's Cafeteria. I want the fish, mac & cheese & chocolate ice box pie. Sadly, there is no Luby's in Northern VA.

8. I am taking myself to see the remake of Clash of the Titans next week!

9. I need to put on my makeup so we can go out. I'm starving.

10. Why do I need a 10 when I have two 4's?

Have a great weekend!

Not another depressing blog.

Really, I'm sick of being sick. I've spent the past two days in bed, sleeping. I am sick. Or am I? I went to the doctor & it's "viral", but I think my sleeping 21 out of 24 hours is more than that.

That fog has cleared.

So, today is Friday. My mother came to me in my dream last night & told me, again, that my sister & I had to tell Nana it was okay to go home. My sister is going this weekend to complete that task. I will not be flying. (I'm sick, duh!) But, she will allow me to do my part on the phone. It's sad & depressing, but this is not another depressing blog. I don't care what I've typed thus far.

The good news is that J has done an amazing job caring for the children while I've been on my own private "death" bed. All things considered, him & I have had a good week. I appreciated him this week.

I woke up with my lymph node in my neck swollen so badly, but J gave me a happy pill & the pain has subsided. I'm going to the mall. I have never felt skinny in my life, but I'm starting to look thin-ish. At the doctor yesterday I was down to 142, which is almost insane for my body type. Needless to say, I am swimming in my clothes right now. Swollen neck or not, J & I are going out tonight with our besties, Hottie #1 & Weiner, & I am not wearing a moo moo. I'm going to enjoy this size 6 body for a minute & find something extremely flattering.

Why?

Because it will make me forget about all the other shit in my life, even if only for one night.

So, while things aren't peachy keen, jelly bean, they are calm for the moment. Even if I am typing under the influence of prescription pain medicine, I am content. For now.

Enjoy the weekend. Hold the ones you love close. And, may everyone who reads this find peace... even if it comes in a bottle.

Snort.

There. I gave you a snort. Go on! Have some fun!

Another blah blog on another blah day.

Struggle.

That's where I am right now.

My Nana is dying. My relationship is taking some serious hits. And, my children are testing my patience. All, in a day's work, right?

I need some clarity. Some focus. Some food. (I've lost about 5 more lbs in the past few weeks without even trying!)

I did have a dear friend, Ladyhawk, come visit me on Friday & she made me a to-do list. I am proud to announce to her (she reads my blog) that I have finally returned my library books! And, more. I have actually made a dent in the list & it feels good.

It's nice to have someone's help, even with the little things.

So, I will continue to pound away on my list & maybe in the process find some clarity in all of this.

Signed,
Lost

I could pour my heart out here

or I could just tell you that my life is falling to pieces & leave it at that.

There are times in your life when you just want to crawl in the bed, pull the covers up over you & not wake up for 100 years. Well, my time for that is now.

My body aches, my stomach is in knots & I can't sleep. I am stressed to the max. I just spent six of the longest days of my life advocating loudly for the most amazing woman I've ever known. I get home last night & every time I turn a corner there is a slap in my face. The ex purposely didn't invite my daughters to Lavagirl's birthday party. My girls are devestated. We owe Reston Association 1700 dollars & can't even park in our spots. My house is a mess. J & I are fighting about all of the above because I cannot be calm about anything now.

I just want to scream. Or cry. Or both.

I have so many funny things to blog about, but I just am not motivated today. Maybe tomorrow.

German Shephards, Taco Soup, Feeding Tubes, Sleep Deprivation & Sexting

all things happening in texas at this moment in time!!

Hi, It is Lola's sister!

1. Ive pretty much been awake since Tuesday Morning at 6:30 am.

2. I miss my son and my husband

3. My Nana just got back from recovery, and now is the proud owner of a feeding tube. Lets hope this helps!

4. My nana is shivering.

5. My Nana cussed me out all night. Do people who are the sweetest people eva get mean when they may or may not be dying. Im voting yes at this moment in time, but i still love her like a fat kid loves cake.

6. My sister is sexting with a drunk fiance. He may or may not be sleeping on the front porch. This sounds like a another blog in the making.

7. We bought vodka in honor of reading chelsea handlers book are you there vodka its me chelsea.

8. Only in Katy texas can you go to a liquor store where they also rent uhauls to find behind the counter a german shephard baring teeth and barking at customers.

9. Just had the best taco soup in the world. Lola made it and it was the best!

10. We are gonna play slap jack b/c I am to tired to think of how to play spades.


PEACE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEEYOTCHES!


ps. my aunt is charging her phone in the bathroom, and she is talking to someone she so thinks we cant hear maybe but she so just farted and didnt skip a beat in her convo on the phone

Blogging while my sister is laying next to me in a hosptial room in Katy, TX on a rainy Thursday afternoon.

What really happens when we die?

As I sit here in my Nana's hospital room listening to her plan her funeral (what that really means is I am listening to her ramble about canceling a meal & who is going to open the cemetary gates) I am pondering this morbid topic, again.

Is there a heaven? And, how do we get in line for it? J & I had this conversation on the way to the airport yesterday. He told me he was afraid of dying because he wasn't really sure he believed in heaven. Is heaven just a place someone dreamed up so we don't have to be afraid to die? I don't know about you, but the thought of rotting in the ground is not appealing to me by any means. But, I'm a realist. I don't necessarily think we will bounce from cloud to cloud with the angels, either. It's one of those things I try not to think about because the outcome of my thoughts leaves me a bit sad, but as I watch the life leave my Nana I can't help but wonder about it all over again.

I can admit it. I am also afraid fo dying. I'm nowhere near ready to leave this Earth, but I know from experience that I could go at any given second on any given day. And, that sucks. I really hope there is a nice place we all go when we depart because I confess: the thought of that brings me comfort, too.

Did I just conform?

Anyways, this blog sucks & I am tired of thinking about death. I will sit here & watch my sister sleep. She has been up for two nights with Nana & she has earned herself a nice nap.

This blog brought to you by vodka at 30,000 feet.

I am flying to Houston as I type & I'm online. How crazy is that? I did not know airlines had wi fi, but I am very excited that it only cost me 10 bucks. The vodka I am drinking cost me 6 bucks. The flight attendant gave me a buy one mini bottle of Finlandia get one free. So, happy Lola is getting buzzed before visiting her dying Nana.

I'm fucked.

No, seriously, I am at peace with this. Nana told my sister this morning that our mother told her she cannot die until I get there. After speaking to my long lost friend, MJ, I am convinced Nana is straddling two worlds. The real world & the after life. It is so crazy, but I don't think it's dementia. I will write more when I actually get there & lay eyes on her.

And, what day of mine wouldn't be ruined without a little ex-wife drama. The fucking cunt is refusing to invite the twins to Lavagirl's birthday party. Madison invited the twins & now we get to tell all three girls that Thing 1 & Thing 2 cannot attend because ex-wife is a whoreface bitchfucker.

Life is too short to be angry, so my vodka is cleansing my anger away.

I love flying.