Rock out, with your cock out!

I am the proud owner of Rock Band 2. People, it's like Rock Band on CRACK! First of all, the instruments are wireless. And, if you know me & my OCD ways you would know that all those wires clutter my living room & drive me bonkers.

So, problem solved.

After playing for 2 1/2 hours yesterday with my future step son & his cousin, I have mastered the vocals on My Own Worst Enemy. 100% on Hard, baby.

No shit.

I cannot hardly wait to sing Chop Suey. Seriously.

I just called...

to say...



My 1:40am wake up call last night was to my cousin singing this song to me. She lives in Texas. She was drunk. And even though I was sleeping & almost completely out of it - it was pretty freakin' hilarious.

I love my cousins. They freakin' rock.

I'm so glad it wasn't a middle of the night "death" call. Whew.

He read it? He read it not?

I'm guessing not, but it seems like J made a quick recovery after this morning's fumble.

Wugh. Blending families IS so hard!

Here we go again.

Repeat issue #1,343,234.

After spending years doing your own thing with your own kids & then for the past few months being tossed in to this great big mixing bowl, people are starting to get "stiff". Actually, we're all getting a little stiff. And pissy. And aggravated. And mean. And assy.

So, today J gives up on joint discipline because he feels like I think he's mean to my children. He's so fucking delusional sometimes I want to scream.

Fact - he does spend more time disciplining my children than his own because my kids are reluctant to listen to him & his kids are used to listening to him. Duh.

Fact - to be a mother & watch someone get angry with your kids time & time & time & time & time & time again hurts. Even if they aren't cooperating. It still hurts. It's like being stabbed in the heart repeatedly. I'm not even kidding. It's one thing for me to be upset with them, they are MY kids. But it's quite another to see someone else upset with them. Does anyone get that or I am just fucking stupid?

Opinion - Thing 1 & Thing 2 don't necessarily have a discipline problem. They are lashing out towards J & I which is probably warranted due to this grandiose lifestyle change they have had to make this year. Not their fault. I repeat, not their fault. They are very agreeable children towards teachers, other family members, other children & pretty much everyone else who is not me or J & sometimes their dad.

Opinion - I'm tired of J viewing my children as the "problem". Yell less at them & work more on them if we mean that much to you. Which, after this long series of "poor me" text messages he just sent, I am pretty sure we don't.

So, fuck it. My ex husband never had any interest in compromising parental maneuvers so why should J?

Confessions of a clueless bride

Yeah, we're back on the whole wedding kick. I am engaged, but it isn't something J & I talk about daily. I guess when you've already been married planning a wedding seems like a big pain in the ass. But, this is my last chance to ever have my dream wedding so, I need to start planning.

What are you people doing November 6, 2009?

Lola & the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

Everything about this day just blows. Well, almost everything.

I have copious amounts of green snot wreaking havoc in my sinus cavities. I also have a horrendous cough. It sounds like I'm playing the part of a 60 year old smoker. Blech.

The girls I sublease my condo to haven't paid rent since December. My landlord wants them out by Friday. I don't even know how that's legal or even possible, but I'm going to have them all swap information & deal with it.

My latest real estate deal went south today. Right straight down to hell! Not the motivation I need as I start my commission only life.

So far, that's it, but it is only lunch time.

Copper's Friday night vocabulary lesson

Friday night Hottie #1, Hottie #2, Wiener (AKA MR. WONDERFUL), his friend from Richmond, Copper, J & I went on the Centreville, VA town. I'll be honest. We may as well have been in Texas. Snort.

The Hotties, Wiener, J & I are regulars to "Party Hard Friday Nights". J & I tend to over do it & then we're both left feeling like shit for the rest of our kid-free weekend. J & I met Copper when were in Richmond & the whole pizza versus sex debacle went down. He's a delicious dish of a man who we all thought would hook it up nicely with Hottie #2. Needless to say that didn't work out so well...

Anyways, we all met at a Brewery for dinner & on to a bar that was featuring an 80's cover band. I almost wished I had worn my leg warmers. ALMOST! I probably still would have stuck out. I should have yanked out a few teeth, put on a cowboy hat & worn my spurs!

All in all we had a great drunken time. My backless shirt may have been a bit much, but whatever. In the course of the evening I picked up a few words from Copper that I want to share with y'all.

1. Cougar - an older lady looking for some younger meat.

2. Gunt - Basically a front butt or excessive gut that hangs over your pants in an less than attractive type fashion.

3. FUPA - a fat upper pussy area. Cringe.

I'm not sure how many of these words I will incorporate in to my daily life, but feel free to use them all in a sentence for me in my comments area so I can get a good laugh.