Something big has happened!

And, I can't talk about it, yet.

And no, I'm not pregnant! Para.

Just sayin'.

Connect the dots, la la la la

Lately, I've been reconnecting with people from my past - mostly thanks to Facebook. Yesterday I chatted with our high school's former class dork. And the one thing I can remember about him is that he helped me with my Biology bug collection project 16 years ago. It's hard to believe I was once 15, but I was! So, class dork lives 10 minutes from me - which is a long ways from Katy, Texas. And, guess what?

He's still a dork! And a pompous ass, at that!

So, Michael Webb, take your Wegman's grocery store & the tuition to your children's private school & stick it!

Snort.

Most of my reconnects have been less awkward & more sincere. But, I have to be honest - I've never listed any of my schools on my Myspace or my Facebook. Is that odd? The painful truth is I never wanted to reconnect with these people & have to explain the last decade plus of my life to anyone who knew me when I was a little goody-goody gum drop. And yes, I was that girl. The dork, the honor student, the shy, quiet type with bangs & a Dooney & Bourke purse that was green. Ahem. Forest green.

I feel like perhaps I should have done more in my 20's & then I'd have some bragging rights, too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I also hate to be judged. So, I'm not real sure what that makes me. It's probably open for discussion.

Who the hell am I kidding? I'm Lola Starr & I'm phenomenal!

Yeah. That's it.

Superstar!

Let's just be honest, okay?

I hate to have to go through 20 of the same videos on youtube looking for one that doesn't have embedding disabled.



There. Happy fucking Wednesday.

Love,
Lola

20 things to do on your sick day

1. Eat peanut butter from a spoon. Mmm.

2. Play on Facebook in between bathroom trips.

3. Yahoo Instant Message with your sister & dream of being a professional photographer with her someday.

4. Visit the toilet. Repeatedly.

5. Make lists like these on your blog right before a nap.

6. Take a nap.

7. Look around the disaster of a house & think about cleaning it after your nap.

8. Seriously, consider cleaning.

9. Check your bank account.

10. Bookmark lenses that your sister recommends.

11. Prank call your neighbor & ask if her refrigerator is running.

12. Go to the pharmacy for drugs.

13. Go to your bathroom for drugs.

14. Think about how life would be if you were a prostitute hooking for drug money.

15. Laugh at yourself.

16. Wonder what you're missing at the office.

17. Visit the bathroom, again. And not for drugs this time.

18. Think about joining a photography website.

19. Find an old picture of you in high school on a Facebook group. You were an awesome puppet!

20. Go lay down & turn on Maury.

Make your own cuss word

Go ahead & try it.

1. Fucksticker
2. Shitcorn
3. Asspisser


Now I will go yell them from my car. TTFN!

It's really rough.

The waves, that is. This is the 2nd dream I've had recently about being caught in a tidal wave. And last night during my dream the words - It's really rough - came across the screen like a sub-title.

So now, I'm researching the dream's meaning through various internet sites.

1. To dream that you are caught in a tidal wave, signifies the strength of your emotions, perhaps accompanied by tears that you are holding back in your waking life.

2. TIDAL WAVES : A tidal wave is a very strong symbol and can simply indicate that there is something stronger and more powerful that will just sweep us away without warning. It may symbolise our wish to protect some vulnerable family member. It may link to some larger force such as need to follow the true path of religion.

But tidal waves are also symbolic of our feelings. They may show that we are overcome with strong feelings on an issue. The sea in dreams symbolises the feelings we have and the land the facts about some issue. For the sea to sweep over the land shows that we are making very emotional decisions, possibly based on insufficient evidence.

3. Tidal wave means you will receive some money in a way soon.

4. Well, to dream of a wave or tsunami means that you are caught in a tidal wave, signifies the strength of your emotions, perhaps accompanied by tears that you are holding back in your waking life. If the wave was more like a tsunami, this represents that you are being overwhelmed by some repressed feelings or unconscious material that is rising up to the surface. You are experiencing some unhappiness and emotional instability in some waking situation.

If the sky you dreamed of is cloudy and overcast, then it foretells of sadness and trouble.

5. Tidal waves often appear in our dreams when are under a lot of pressure or when significant change is occurring. They may be a an indication that we feel a little overwhelmed, that maybe we fear we won’t be able to cope or adjust with what we see in our own future. They may occur as recurring dreams, with the wave getting bigger or closer over subsequent nights. This may correspond to our increasing anxiety, or the looming date we fear getting closer. It is worth recognising that when we have these dreams there is often an area of our life that we are not looking at clearly, or that we are avoiding. Tidal wave dreams remind us that if we don’t confront and deal with things that are out of balance in our life, then they will confront us first! There are few clearer signs of confrontation than standing right before a towering body of surging water!

Honestly, I hope it just means I'll receive some money, soon. And, thank goodness I woke myself up last night before I drowned or I'd have to spend my morning researching that!

Para.

Weekend wrap-up.

I am not 21 anymore. Fo' sho'.

Friday night J& I met Hottie #1 & Weiner at PF Changs. We had 2 bottles of wine. Hottie #1 & I had discussed prior to dinner alternating wine with water. Why? Because we are known to suck down wine & then be drinky before the main course arrives. Her & I are really one in the same. She's just 40lbs lighter. Snort.

After dinner the four of us go to Weiner's friend's house. Interesting. His friend lives in Great Falls which is where I work & one of the most prestigious parts of No. Virginia. Needless to say, his house was AMAZING! Couple weird things there.

1. His girlfriend was a snobby bitch. She was probably hot 10 years ago, but I about lost it when she told me it was okay that I didn't know how to ski & that I could just sit there & drink while they all skied. Snort. Not a problem, bitch. Not a problem.

2. Hottie #1 was being a snarky bitch right there in front of her. And THAT was hilarious.

3. The friend was a former Olympian either from Russia or Slovakia. He had a thick accent, adorable children & was drinking what J thought an 800 dollar bottle of wine. He served us wine that didn't even have a cork. It was SCREW TOP! Cheap asshole!

4. We took shots of Russian grain vodka. Probably a huge mistake. I needed Tums after that.

We were meeting Hottie #2 & her date at a bar so J & I left early. I had NO PROBLEM with that! I had to pee so bad when we got there I couldn't wait in line to get in the bar... we went to Subway. I made J buy a bottle of water. I cannot stand using a public bathroom in an establishment without being a customer. And since we had just ate a sandwich wasn't in the cards.

So, we get our drink on, enjoy the live band complete with rockin' female lead singer. They played top 40 hits & old school rock. We were in heaven.

Then everything fell apart. My friends all started having man drama. Usually, I'm the one who leaves my boyfriend at the bar in a fit of dramatic rage. It just so happens J & I had a great time & even after our friends left we just continued to dance. I am kinda proud of us. Para.

We were a wee bit drinky.

Then, I peed in the parking lot. I am known to do that. Sometimes.

We found Hottie #2 & her date in the parking lot & I tried to save them as I left the sounds of the 70's inside the bar. Thank God they called a cab & I got a 2:36am text telling me just that.

Now, J & I went home, had a snack & some hot lovin'. And it was about 4am before we went to bed.

I slept the entire next day.

I am not 21. I cannot party like a rockstar, anymore. Saturday was so unproductive for me, it's almost sad.

We canceled plans with J's brother & his wife on Saturday night for the movie Juno & fell asleep by 10pm. I slept TWELVE HOURS! Sunday I woke up & got productive.

And guess who is presently sleeping on the couch & has been for HOURS?

Yep, J.

Obviously, he isn't 21 anymore, either.

Snort.